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It’s kind of like the butterfly effect – you know, the idea that the flap of a butterfly’s wing in South Africa can affect weather patterns in Fort Wayne, Ind. But instead of the butterfly’s wing playing such a huge role, it’s someone’s facial expression.
Happiness is a contagious bug, British Medical Journal researchers reported last month. Based on data collected from nearly 5,000 people over 20 years, the journal found that living within a mile of a happy friend boosts a person’s happiness odds by 25 percent. Near a spirited sibling? Add 14 percent.
Jay Rauner, of Fort Wayne, has a happy roommate. He lives near his happy family. More than the cheer, though, Rauner says it’s the unhappiness that rubs off.
“If they’re not happy, it’s kind of hard for you to be happy, too,” he says.
People tend to absorb what’s around them, says Betty Kahlenbeck, director at Fort Wayne’s Hope Alive Inc., a counseling center and group home for women with mental health problems. The study, however, found that sadness doesn’t transfer as easily as happiness.
Hope Alive has two full-time staffers – Kahlenbeck and administrative assistant Jane Relue – and both of them describe themselves as cheery women. Sometimes when one is down, the other cheers her up.
Kahlenbeck remembers a time when she was frustrated with one of her children. Relue was quick to find the humor in the situation and share a similar experience.
It’s during those difficult times that staying positive can be of the utmost importance: During the December ice storm that left many in Fort Wayne without power, Relue was in the dark for five days. She calls her husband a cheerful, laid-back man, and the two tried to get through it by focusing on the positives: Sure, they had to keep water running to keep the pipes from freezing, so their water bill will likely be pretty high, but look at how much Relue saved on her electric bill.
A happy spouse, found the study, can increase one’s chance of happiness by 8 percent; a happy next-door neighbor, meanwhile, increases chances by nearly 35 percent. The study’s authors guess that same-sex relationships seem to spread happiness more, which could explain the neighbor effect.
This kind of attitude can be especially important at Relue and Kahlenbeck’s workplace; some of the women who get help at Hope Alive or live in the group home have depression or bipolar disorder. Some come from violent relationships or have health issues.
Naturally, it’s not always easy to keep a cheery disposition, and sometimes, Kahlenbeck says, she has to remind herself to smile.
But it helps, even when it’s forced. AlterNet, an independent news Web site in San Francisco, listed 10 scientifically proven ways to get happy, including smiling “even when you don’t feel like it.” The idea is to make smiling a habit. Smiley people tend to be more optimistic about the future and savor the good things in the past.
When things at Hope Alive get frustrating – when meetings get her down or when she sees a woman with a sad story – Kahlenbeck’s faith will often keep her upbeat.
She mentions a young woman whose mother kicked her out of her home, and she talks of the importance of focusing on the positive.
“It’s draining when we see we live in a society that has disposable children. It can get you in a down mood,” Kahlenbeck says. “When you watch how God operates in that person’s life, (when you) see him put her in an environment where she’s learning and growing, (when you) watch people come out of (difficult) life situations, that’s very uplifting for us.”
And sometimes, the grin doesn’t have to come from someone close: The British Medical Journal study also found that happiness can spread across relationships; in fact, it can be contagious up to three degrees. That would be like Rauner’s roommate’s friend’s cousin bringing a grin to Rauner’s face.
“It is sometimes said that you can’t be happier than your least happy child,” Harvard University psychologist Daniel Gilbert told The Boston Globe. “It is truly amazing to discover that when you replace the word ‘child’ with ‘best friend’s neighbor’s uncle,’ the sentence is still true.”
Relue has a similar experience with someone not particularly close to her bringing happiness: The most cheerful person she knows is a woman she met through Hope Alive who comes in the office on Tuesday mornings.
“She’s one of the most upbeat people,” Relue says. “She walks in a room, and she just smiles and grins and laughs, and she just makes a world of difference. She brings sunshine in. She just makes everybody feel like they’re important to her.”
And it’s not just happiness. Obesity can spread through friendships, found the same happiness study researchers, Harvard social scientist Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, of the University of California-San Diego, in 2007. Smokers, too, were more likely to quit when other contacts quit, too.
Attitudes can be contagious, Kahlenbeck says.
“Even if you’re just empathizing,” she says, “pretty soon, it rubs off.”
jyouhana@jg.net
