You’d think that winning two back-to-back Emmys for your hit Bravo reality series would open all kinds of doors for you in Hollywood.

And you’d be terribly wrong, if you’re Kathy Griffin, whose “My Life on the D-List” is amid its fifth season, airing Mondays.

Fans of the series noticed that one member of Team Griffin, longtime assistant Jessica Zajicek, is missing.

“Our beloved Jessica has moved on and is engaged to her boyfriend in Arizona, so we miss her desperately, although we’re still in touch,” Griffin explains. “She just kind of has a new life, and I knew I couldn’t keep her forever, as much as I wanted to. We still have my beloved tour manager, Tom, and Tiffany, and I bring them along on my misadventures.”

Griffin’s wine-loving mom, Maggie, has returned.

“We just have to get used to the fact that somehow she has got to – much like Demi Moore – try to be a good mother but also appease her fans,” Griffin says. “I like to tell my mom that I wish Dina Lohan were my mom and not her. My mom is a terrible ‘momager,’ because she’s too drunk half the time, whereas Dina Lohan is drunk only, like, a quarter of the time.”

Griffin says she’s “still firmly planted on the D-list. But I think celebrities might be just a hair less afraid of me now, so we actually get Christina Aguilera on camera at the Grammys and Taylor Swift. It’s fun.”

That doesn’t mean that the 48-year-old comic is getting all chummy with the A-listers who provide fodder for her sold-out comedy tours. In fact, she discovered that her past naughtiness has left her radioactive.

In April, Griffin was tapped by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation to receive the group’s prestigious Vanguard Award in recognition of her work promoting gay rights.

“Sure enough, cut to the day of the show, and GLAAD calls me at 3 o’clock: They cannot buy a celebrity to give me this (freakin’) award,” Griffin says. “Everybody has passed. … Finally T.R. Knight (‘Grey’s Anatomy’) came to the rescue around 4 o’clock, and it was still so D-list that I had to write the intro myself.”

Despite her Emmys, Griffin still feels like the Rodney Dangerfield of Bravo:

“I get less respect than ever.”

“I will say that the beauty of Bravo is that the upside of them not caring about my show is that they really leave us alone. I love to make fun of my little fake network, but I also have to say that they have been really supportive of me and backed me up whenever I’ve gotten in trouble.”

Still, something good came of the GLAAD Awards debacle: Griffin now has a complete list of the stars who refused to present that award. And don’t think she won’t read it onstage in her upcoming comedy tour. Oh, yes. She will read it.

“I don’t even know how to pull punches,” Griffin says. “I wouldn’t know how to do my act any other way. If someone offered me a TV show and said, ‘Be as funny as you want, but don’t say anything negative about anyone,’ I’d have to say, ‘Well, then, I got nothing.’ I’m a firm believer in, ‘If you’ve got nothing nice to say, sit next to me.’ ”