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Beverly and Michelle Heinzen aren’t the only married couple who can complain about losing money on their state and federal taxes every year. Crack a window and do some (totally out of character, of course) eavesdropping on your neighbors. You’ll realize – in this respect, anyway – the Heinzens are part of a vocal majority.
But the Heinzens are also a married lesbian couple, which (at least in Indiana) means their tax issues go a little deeper than your average couple.
Because their marriage isn’t recognized by the state or the federal government, the Heinzen family – Beverly, Michelle and 9-year-old Zachary – lose between $8,000 and $12,000 a year on taxes alone. And that’s a substantial amount of money no matter who you are.
“And it was much worse when we owned a business together,” Michelle Heinzen says.
They could go on about that one.
As a lesbian couple, Beverly and Michelle are required to file taxes separately. And even though everything in their household is combined – savings accounts, checking accounts, the house, the cars, the medical bills – they have to untangled the roots of their life together on paper every year.
“Who claims our son this year?” Michelle Heinzen asks. “Who is going to claim the house? Every year we have to find out what is most advantageous for us financially. It is difficult to unwind all of that.”
According to U.S. census estimates, there are 782 same-sex partner households in Allen County. But there is no record whether those couples have been married in Canada or in any of the six U.S. states – Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont – where gay marriage is legal.
Local couple Kenny Edholm and Joshua Reid were married March 20 in Toronto, where gay marriage is legal. A few days later, they returned to Indiana with an envelope filled with marriage documents. Documents that sometimes feel meaningless, Edholm says.
“I have to catch myself,” he says. “I’ll think things like, ‘Technically we’re not married. We feel like we are. The records say we are. There is a signature on these documents.
“But it says we’re married in Toronto, Ontario. If I go into an Indiana courthouse, or if my husband’s in the hospital, these documents mean nothing.’ ”
The same is true for the Heinzens, both of whom are legally parents to their son. Because the two women cannot be on the same insurance policy – their places of work do not provide benefits to same-sex partners – Zachary is listed only on Michelle’s policy.
And when Zachary broke his arm awhile back, Beverly – who gave birth to the boy – had trouble getting his medical information because of medical privacy laws.
“Because we don’t have the marital distinction, everything is two or three times more complicated for us,” Beverly Heinzen says.
So why choose to live in Indiana? If life would be less complicated – not to mention less expensive – somewhere else, why not move there?
“We shouldn’t have to relocate ourselves to be considered equal,” Edholm says. “Also, my family is here. They mean everything to me. They are my support system. That, and moving sucks.”
Can’t argue with that.
Talk to these two couples and their definition of marriage sounds pretty average. Words like “love, honor and cherish” are used. And there’s a little of that starry-eyed stuff, too. The kind of stuff some recently divorced people might roll their eyes at (and secretly wish they could still believe.)
“Marriage is the most involved and spiritual commitment you can make to another person,” Edholm says. “It means spending life and eternity afterward with the person you love most on this Earth.”
“Forever,” Beverly Heinzen says.
“Through thick and thin,” Michele Heinzen adds.
For these local gay and lesbian couples, gay marriage is also a civil rights issue, which is why recent developments – such as the push to recognize gay marriages in Washington, D.C., and President Obama’s decision to offer benefits to gay partners of federal employees – are so exciting for them.
“Something like that happens and we’re immediately e-mailing each other,” Beverly Heinzen says. “Michelle is the first person I contact when I hear any good piece of news. But especially this kind of good news.”
At the end of the day, when the Heinzens are gathering around the table for dinner, and when Edholm and Reid are popping in a movie and sheepishly letting their Great Dane, Valentine, take up most of the couch, gay marriage is about one thing only. Love.
“I hope that in our son’s lifetime, gay marriage becomes legal,” Michelle Heinzen says. “But for now, our marriage is a formal recognition for Zachary. And it’s beyond just us. It’s not just a union of two people, but of two families. Marriage for us is the same as it is for everyone: the intention to intertwine our lives for ever.”
Even at tax time?
“Even then,” she says.
