You’ve found your prince or princess and are planning your happily-ever-after. But fairy-tale nuptials carry all-too-real price tags. With a little savvy, you can have an upscale event on a budget.

Anja Winikka, editor of TheKnot.com, says that before you say “I do” to an overpriced wedding, you and your intended should decide your must-haves, would-likes and can-live-withouts.

“It’s all about being flexible and identifying the things that are really important,” Winikka says. “If music is going to be the highlight of the reception, maybe you go for a less expensive dress. If the food and wine is the focus, maybe you go with a DJ. Key elements vary from couple to couple and wedding to wedding.”

When Amber Dodge Bengston and her fiancé found they needed to cut the cost of their September 2007 wedding, they each made a list of “gotta-haves” and then compared notes.

“The places where we matched, like the photographer, we didn’t skimp on,” says Dodge Bengston. “Then, in other areas, we looked for ways to do it more economically.”

They negotiated a discount on the church rental; opted for a reception package that included a cake, limo and disc jockey; and used a computer program to print invitation envelopes. After seeing the dress of her dreams at a local bridal shop, Dodge Bengston found it cheaper online. She went back to the shop and got $300 off the price.

A survey by TheKnot.com showed that 40 percent of soon-to-be-marrieds had reduced their wedding budgets. Research by Modern Bride magazine shows that one-third of brides and grooms are footing the bill themselves.

“You don’t have to go to the cheapest person in town,” Winikka says. “Wedding service providers are sensitive to the economy, and they have options and suggestions to help you save.”