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Ben Smith

Ben Smith has been covering sports in Indiana since 1977 and has been The Journal Gazette's lead sports columnist since 1989. His columns run the gamut from wisecracking commentary to profiles of the people who make the world of games the fascinating and often bizarre place it is.
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VINCE YOUNG
JAY CUTLER
MATTHEW STAFFORD
ERIC MANGINI
Published: November 10, 2009 3:00 a.m.

The Young and well rested

Ben Smith
The Journal Gazette
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And now for our weekly draw-play-off-a-half-gainer around the National Lost-And-Found League, aka “Hey, That Looks Like Vince Young Out There,” aka, “And He Looks Just Like He Does On The Side Of The Milk Carton”:

•The amazing V.Y. continued to confuse everyone in the NFL, throwing for 172 yards as the Titans horsed around and scored more points than the 49ers, their second straight non-loss under Young.

“Vince Young? Oh, man, I thought we were playing Vince Evans,” Niners coach Mike Singletary said.

“And I thought you were playing me,” said Vince Ferragamo.

•The previously winless Buccaneers scored three touchdowns in the last 11 minutes to beat the Packers.

The Packers immediately filed a protest with the league office, saying it wasn’t fair on account of they were ahead 28-17 and were blinded by the sheer hideousness of the Bucs’ Creamsickle-colored throwback unis.

“Aieee! My eyes!” screamed Aaron Rodgers, who threw a pick six to seal it for Tampa.

“Ice cream on a stick! I need ice cream on a stick!” raved Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk.

•This week’s What’s That Smell wafts from the Windy City, where the Bears laid down in the street and let the Cardinals run over them and back up and run over them again and back up and run over them again.

“Man, what a pathetic bunch of losers the rest of these guys are,” said Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, passing out copies of his statistics (29 of 47, 369 yards, three touchdowns).

•This week’s Matthew Stafford Is Going To Get Killed Out There update: Stafford throws five interceptions and is sacked twice as the Lions lose again, 32-20.

“Never mind that,” Stafford said. “How about that Vince Ferragamo?”

•This week’s ManGenius Coaches ’Em Up update: Eric Mangini’s Beiges install a new defense – the 4-3-2-1 – for bye week. Bye wins anyway, 35-12.

ManGenius’ take: “The 10-man defense is the wave of the future. Now away with you, foul creatures. Your presence is an affront to my greatness.”

That’s all, y’all. Back to you, Larry Rakestraw.

Ben Smith has been covering sports in Fort Wayne since 1986. His columns appear four times a week. He can be reached by e-mail at bensmith@jg.net; phone, 461-8736; or fax 461-8648 or at the "Ben Smith" topic of "The Board" at www.journalgazette.net.