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Apparently, the second to last cut is the deepest. Tonight's episode of "America's Next Top Model" was brutal, thanks to an unintentionally hilarious hula/hip-hop dance, a photo shoot where everyone was pelted by waves and the elimination of not one but two (!) models.
Tonight, the models were asked to combine hula dancing with hip-hop dancing. This was hilarious. But before you start calling me out, I am fully aware I'm not a good dancer and by no means a graceful one. (Those of you who saw me dancing on crutches last month at Flashbacks already know this.) But even I couldn't help laughing at Nicole's hula-hop dance. Because if a pair of scissors ever danced in a T Pain video, that's exactly what it would look like
Onward.
Everyone's favorite underdog Laura was nervous and ended up with ridiculous-looking lips -- or as Jay said, looking "boozy" -- during the volcano photo shoot. And to make matters worse, Erin -- Evil Erin -- turned out good pictures by "singing one of those songs the teenagers are listening to" while being photographed. This was both effective and nearly the most annoying thing I've ever heard. If she'd have been sitting next to me at that moment, I'd have gone all hula-hop on her and Krunk'd her miniature head with my Hawaiian booty pops.
But, everyone lived happily ever after because Nicole and Laura somehow turned out the best photos of the episode and made it to the finale. Jaclyn and I actually cheered. Peace on Earth, good will toward men.
* The challenge. The girls get to merge graceful hula with krunking hip hop. Jen comments that Laura must love it at the clubs because she knows how to shake her booty.
* Laura wins the challenge and gets to take a friend -- she picks Jen -- back to Maui for a five-day vaycay. Back at the house, she and Jen are discussing their win, and Erin is pouting on her bed and smarting off to Laura, "Whatever, Laura. I was in the bottom two three times in a row." Was she bragging? Trying to be snotty? Doesn't matter, 'cause Laura didn't even respond. Classy girl. I'd have thrown my shoe at her head.
* Nicole's photo shoot. Her stunning red hair with the happy yellow dress and giant green earrings looked amazing, and pair that with the fact that she nailed it? Yeah, that's a picture I'd hang in my family room and wish I was so elegant, but secretly know that if it came to it, I could totes kick her butt in a dance-off.
* Erin softens her features because, "I started thinking one of those pop songs the teenagers are listening to." ((facepalm)) Dude, you ARE a teenager.
* Tyra doesn't show up until judging. She's doesn't show up often in the best episodes.
* The judges like Laura so much that they don't even mention that she looks utterly petrified in her photo.
* NICOLE AND LAURA ARE IN THE TOP TWO = Best top two in ... how long? Like ever?
Here's to next week!
