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Tiger's tale

Accident story gets weirder and weirder

You know what I really hate?

I hate it when stuff happens to celebrities and people (i.e.: media) begin immediately speculating on What Really Happened.

Welcome to my little corner of self-loathing, then.

Because, listen, this Tiger Woods accident deal is fishier than a can of Starkist. Especially now that Woods and his wife were no-shows for an alleged meeting with police.

Here's the official story: Police responded to a 911 call at Woods' residence at 2:25 a.m. Friday after he crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant and then a neighbor's tree backing out of his driveway. His wife, Elin, said she heard the crash and found Woods unconscious in the locked car. She smashed out the back window with a golf club (what else?) and hauled him out. Police say Woods was unconscious for about six minutes and also suffered cuts on his lips.

Here are the unanswered questions:

!. Where was he going in such a hurry, and why, at 2:25 in the morning?

2. What if any connection does this have to the fact that two days before, rumors about Woods and a New York nightclub hostess surfaced in the National Enquirer?

3 through 7. Why did his wife really smash the back window of his SUV with a golf club? Where did his cuts really come from? Why did he really crash into a fire hydrant and a tree? Why, if he hit them hard enough to knock himself out, did the airbags not deploy? And finally, and again, where was he going in such a hurry, and why, at 2:25 in the morning?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Ben Smith's blog.