The Dallas Cowboys play the Giants in New York this weekend, and you know what that means: It's time for Invent An Outrage!
In this week's episode, the Cowboys have decided to synthesize bad blood from cotton candy and thin air. They vow not to forget the fact that, when the Giants played in Jerry Jones' obscene new palace earlier in the season, Giants quarterback Eli Manning actually left his autograph on the wall of the visitors' dresssing room at the behest of a clubhouse guy.
Why, the nerve of the guy!
"We won't forget that," Cowboys linebacker Bradie James growled.
"Things come back around in this league," Cowboys coach Wade Phillips warned darkly.
What's that mean? The Cowboys are gonna hold Eli down and draw on him with Sharpies until he cries uncle?
"I figure they'll eventually get over it," Eli said.
No way, buddy. You leave an autograph in their stadium, it's on, baby. The Retribution Train is comin'.