Every woman who has escaped the clutches of domestic violence has a seminal moment in which she decides to leave.

For Caroline Dewey, a business owner, it was when her husband demanded she come into the bedroom for a private beating.

For Dottie Davis, a police officer, it was when her husband kicked her toddler across the room.

For Terra Brantley, a news anchor, it was the day her husband broke a car window, pulled her from the car and dragged her into the garage.

All three local women shared their stories of abuse Thursday as part of the YWCA’s annual Circle of Women Luncheon. The event is meant to raise money for the YWCA’s domestic violence programs, highlight its services and spread awareness of physical and emotional mistreatment.

In front of a tearful audience of 500 women gathered inside the Marriott on Coldwater Road, Brantley, Davis and Dewey spoke about the physical and emotional toll caused by domestic violence.

While they sat on white couches, Oprah-style, they spoke about strangulations, black eyes and dislocated shoulders. They talked about raising children in abusive homes and about how hard it is for even some of the most successful, supported women to simply pick up and leave.

It was the first time in several years that local women have shared their stories. Last year, for example, the event featured a talk by Rosalind Wiseman, author of “Queen Bees and Wannabees.”

“It was so much more powerful and intimate this year,” said Catherine Fruchey, a retired attorney who has attended the event for the past six years. “So many of us out there have experienced abuse, but until someone names it sometimes, you don’t even know it’s out of the norm.”

Many of the women who spoke about their abuse choked back tears as they told their stories. Brantley, a news anchor at WANE-TV Channel 15, became emotional when she talked about a time her young son accidentally walked into a room during a moment she feared her husband might kill her.

“I could see the fear in his eyes,” she said. “And when (children) see that type of dysfunction, it teaches them that it’s OK to do those things.”

Brantley said she had made a promise to herself that her children would never grow up in an abusive household. “At that moment, I felt like I had betrayed my kid,” she said.

Brantley, Dewey and Davis have all left their abusive relationships. And at the end of the lunch, they described how it felt to be a survivor.

“Victory is being able to stand up today and tell my story and know somebody is getting something out of it,” Davis said. But in terms of fighting domestic violence, she said, “there is still a lot to be done.”

The YWCA asked that those who attended the luncheon donate at least $100 to the organization. Corporate sponsors also made donations. Lydia Runge-Quinn, luncheon chairwoman, says the event will raise at least $150,000 for the group this year.

The YWCA, a multicultural women’s organization, focuses on ending domestic violence, promoting racial justice, encouraging economic advancement and assisting immigrants.

Money collected from the Circle of Women event will go toward the group’s domestic violence services, which include offering shelter for women, a domestic abuse hotline, an outreach program for women who aren’t in a shelter and community education programs.

During the 1 1/2 -hour lunch, about 600 women would be battered across the country, Runge-Quinn said. And at every table of 10 women, she said, at least two were likely to have been abused.

“People don’t realize it, but they probably know someone who is in a domestic violence situation,” said Debby Beckman, CEO of YWCA. “Some women are just very good at hiding it.”

dhaynie@jg.net