And, no, that is not a facetious question. That is a serious question.
Here's another, to illuminate the first: Who did Alabama coach Nick Saban most remind you of last night after beating Texas in the national title game?
1. Commander Data.
2. Mr. Spock
3. Javier Bardem in "No Country For Old Men."
The correct answer is, "All of the above."
Seriously, I've seen a lot of championships won in a lot of sports over the years, and I can't ever remember seeing the level of emotional detachment I saw from Saban last night. Did he even smile? And did you see how clearly miffed he was over the traditional Gatorade shower?
Really, Coach. If winning the national title made you that miserable, You could have just lost. I'm sure your Texas counterpart, Mack Brown, would have been all smiles in your stead.
Saban's lack of outward joy seemed most jarring when juxtaposed with the anguish Texas quarterback Colt McCoy displayed in his postgame interview. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite that painful -- or seen anyone handle the circumstance with more class and grace.
It was a display of honest human emotion, balanced with mature restraint, from which Saban could have taken some lessons.