—"American Idol" cruised through Chicago in Tuesday's episode, as Season 9 auditions continued. Thirteen contestants, out of the more than 12,000 who reportedly auditioned in the Windy City, earned golden tickets. Here are our thoughts from the night:

Favorite advancing contestant

• John Park, the Asian guy Shania said had a "beautiful bottom end," "nice lips," "a nice tone down there" and "a good head." (The quotes make it "dirty.") He sounded great, despite the frat boy huddle that followed his audition. Best part? After the audition, when Ryan — all excited and dorky-looking — asked Park and his friends, "What do we do to celebrate?!" Next shot: Park and his friends partying without Ryan. — Emma
• John Park. He was like William Hung's cool big brother who could actually sing. Plus, guest judge Shania Twain kinda had a thing for him so that automatically made him my hero. — Ryan
• John Park. I agree with Shania. 'He has a beautiful bottom end," "a nice tone down there" and " a good head." It's a trifecta. — Angie
• After Katelyn Epperly, the first contestant of the night, sang Duffy's "Syrup and Honey," it was all pretty much downhill. There weren't many contestants that caught my attention, let alone one I could see rooting for in the end. — Anthony

Was there anyone who should have advanced to the next round but didn't?

• Brian Krause. He said he was in the military and he really reminded me of Vincent D'Onofrio's classic character Private Leonard "Gomer Pyle" Lawrence from "Full Metal Jacket." His Tiny Tim bit was dead on and he got no credit for it. — Ryan
• I liked the guy who sang Tiny Tim's "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" — the one who elicited the response: "Swear on your mother's life this is not a joke." We'll find out later that this guy is a well respected underground performance artist in New York. Brilliant. He also took the words right out of my mouth: "I feel slipping into a warm bubble bath and relaxing my thoughts." — Emma
• If I had to pick anyone, it would be Amy Lang, the boob boxer who sang an Aretha Franklin song. She was better than Paige Dechausse, the pretty girl who advanced even though she clearly shouldn't have. — Anthony
• Nope. I wouldn't have put Charity Vance through. Her high notes were annoying and I could barely hear her. Doesn't matter. She won't make it through Hollywood. — Angie

Highlight of the night

• Watching Shania Twain giggle and make jokes about those certain parts of the male body. — Anthony
• Angela Martin. She is fantastic. Third time is a charm, girl. You've got it this year. I really hope you've stayed out of trouble since the auditions. I want to see more of you. — Angie
• Shania. Ohhhhh, Shania. Freshly single after dumping Mutt Lange (never has there been a more fitting first name), she was super hot. I think we have found our replacement for my former love, Paula Abdul. Forget stupid Ellen, I want me some more Shania. Actually, we can keep Ellen and just have Kara get hit by a bus or something. — Ryan
• No one has mastered faux sympathy like Ryan Seacrest. Mere moments after listening to someone barf up an off-pitch version of a Celine Dion song, Ryan can turn on the "who farted?" look and ask — without a touch of irony — "Why do you think they said no?" — Emma

Lowlight of the night

• "A Woman's Worth" as performed by Curley Newbern. Beside the fact you couldn't understand a word he was saying, he sounded like some sort of cartoon cat. — Anthony
• Did we really need to bring Obama into this? He's great and all, but that wasn't necessary. Now, if he had tried out, THAT would have been awesome. — Angie
• Amy Lang. This girl's dopey sassy intro made me nearly vomit. She was the kind of girl you know you hate as soon as she opens her stupid mouth. Of course, I did finally vomit when she did her boob trick that made all of my excitement for Shania disappear instantly. — Ryan
• My lowlight? The fact that I can already predict not only what a contestant will sound like, but what song they will sing at least eight times out of 10. Guy with mullet? Kenny Chesney song. Free-spirited blonde? She'll try her hand at Bob Marley. Guy with huge cubic zirconia earrings and white fedora? He'll blame his terrible voice on allergies and then cry after his audition. Check, check and check. — Emma

Random thoughts

• "Man, I feel like a woman." — Ryan
• Chicago really knows how to throw around the f-bomb. And, actually, a lot of other bombs that were either too blurry to catch or I am just too old to have heard yet. — Emma
• I believe that fellow blogger Anthony Castro is going to be mad at Harold Davis and his version of Usher. — Angie
• After the judges gave Harold Davis a swift kick in the pants, Davis played the last card in his hand: Crying. His absolute butchering of "Nice and Slow" nearly had me in tears, too. — Anthony