I know what you're thinking out there, American football fan.
(And, no, it's not, "Domestic or foreign? Chilled mugs or straight out of the bottle? Manning jersey or Jeff Saturday jersey?")
No, you're thinking it's 24 hours before the Saints and Colts kick it off down there in Sunlife Stadium (Motto: "Conveniently located halfway between Miami and the middle of freakin' nowhere"), and all the hay's in the barn. Every question has been asked and answered. Every heart-wrenching tale of personal triumph over adversity has been told. Every issue has been addressed, even issues that should have been left to rot on the vine, like whether or not Tim Tebow has what it takes to be an NFL quarterback, or if he should just man up and sign up to play H-back now.
(I have no idea why this topic came up at all this week. Probably because the Super Bowl is in Florida, and it's like a state law in Florida that you can't go an entire week without uttering the words "Tim Tebow." Violators will be fined, towed, jailed and then shot).
Anyway ... I am here to tell you that, in fact, every question has not been answered yet. I have a couple that stilll need to be addressed before the pregame show begins. That gives me roughly five minutes.
1. Who has been driven most insane by all the pre-Super Bowl hype?
Answer: The school administration at Maurepas High School in Louisiana, which actually sent a student home because he wore a Colts jersey to school. No, really. The story's right here.
2. Are The Who actually still alive?
3. Is there actually a constituency out there that doesn't think Peyton Manning is, like, all wonderful and everything?
Answer: Yes. There is, in fact, a Facebook group called Football Fans Against Peyton Manning (FFAPM). I logged onto it the other day. Some of the comments were hilarious.
"Satan Manning," one guy called him.
"He's an emotionless cyborg completely without personality or likeability," someone else said.
"Peyton Manning wears dandylions (sic) in his hair," someone else said.
"I hate this freaking overrated b******!" another person said.
A sidenote: An inordinate number of the group's 644 members seemed to be from the Boston area.
Another sidenote: At least half the 644 were actually Manning fans ripping the haters to shreds.
"This group is pathetic," one of them said.
Well ... yes.
And now, on with the game.