Today's Tiger Moment comes to us courtesy of Spin Doctors Inc., aka Tiger Woods' team of image polishers, who granted ESPN and The Golf Channel five minutes each to "interview" Woods about his comeback from a devastating bout of serial adultery.
(And, yes, the quotation marks are deliberate, because when you let the interview subject control all the parameters of the interview, it's not really an interview. It's just Tiger using ESPN and The Golf Channel to reiterate that he's really, really sorry for ... well, for being a sleaze).
If you missed the interviews, you didn't miss much, and not just because they lasted only five minutes. You didn't miss much because he basically reiterated, almost word for word at times, what he said in that televised poetry reading his handlers staged for him back in February.
He's sorry. He let a lot of people down who looked up to him. He loves his wife. He got away from his religion. He came down with a raging case of entitlement. He was in therapy for 45 days. He's sorry. Yada-yada-yada.
The only halfway genuine moment in all of it was when he was asked what he thought the reaction from the gallery will be at the Masters. He actually sounded flustered, a little, when he said he hoped to hear at least a few people clapping for him.
No worries there, Tiger. If past experience is any guide, he'll get a standing ovation, like every other skeev who's behaved badly. I can't tell you for the life of me why that happens, but it almost always does.
Me, I'll be eagerly awaiting Tiger's next bout of serial adultery. Because trust me, it's coming.