There was a time when Memorial Day weekend marked the beginning of the summer movie season.
This year, five of the summers biggest blockbusters will be open by that holiday.
The question is: Which of those will still be making an admirable amount of money on June 1?
That is for you, dear reader, to predict.
Here is a guide to all that sultry cinematic splendor:
‘Iron Man 2’
After revealing his Iron Man alter ego to the world, wealthy inventor Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) faces pressure from many quarters to share the blueprints for his full-body armor – pressure from the government, pressure from the media and pressure from ordinary citizens who want to use the suit to speed up beer runs during halftime. The billionaire must ultimately contend with the consequences of the widespread dissemination of the Tony Stark Flying Suit technology, and he vows to prevent the sort of damage that was caused by the Billy Bass Talking Fish technology. (Opened Friday)
‘Robin Hood’
After transferring his allegiances from the army of Richard Coeur de Lion (Heart of the Lion) to the army of Don Henley Coeur de la Matière (Heart of the Matter), a skilled archer (Russell Crowe) fights corruption and tyranny, the sort of corruption and tyranny that is particularly susceptible to archery.
Researchers using the most sensitive instruments have determined the exact number of times this character has been adapted to stage and screen.
Umpteen. (Opens Friday)
‘Shrek Forever After’
A bored Shrek (Mike Myers) sees an opportunity to freshen things up by making a pact with Rumpelstiltskin.
The last film left some bored moviegoers with a Shrek Forever Aftertaste, and the premise of this installment has that not-so-fresh feeling. (Opens May 21)
‘Sex and the City 2’
Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) suspects there are problems in her marriage to Mr. Big (Chris Noth). But it isnt until she sees him flirting with a Spanish woman played by Penelope Cruz that she realizes how much work needs to be done – although most wives would agree that Cruzs appearance in the midst of any marital strife is a pretty good sign that its already too late.
Carrie and her besties decide to take a trip to Abu Dhabi for a little R&R. Of all the vacation destinations where fashionable sophisticates go to be indulged and pampered, Abu Dhabi must rank right up there with Death Valley. In Abu Dhabi, Carrie meets her ex-boyfriend, Aidan, who tells her, Normally a coincidence like this would send even the most gullible movie viewer howling from the theater. But Sex in the City fans are more specialer than that.
Yep.
Thats what he says. More specialer.
Carries friend Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is as saucy, cheeky, risqué and madcap as ever, but this time around that behavior serves only to confirm a truism we all suspect: that sometimes a person is way too old to get away with trying to be saucy, cheeky, risqué and madcap. (Opens May 27)
‘Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time’
In this adaptation of a popular video game, Prince Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) must use a sand-filled dagger to stop the Sands of Time and forestall a supernatural sandstorm. The film cost $150 million, but its all up there on the screen: $150 million worth of sand. (Opens May 28)
‘Killers’
Three years after settling down with a sweet young woman, a former government agent (Ashton Kutcher) discovers theres a price on his head, his number is up, hes behind the eight ball, his luck has gone Chapter 11 and he can think only in numerical clichés. The agent and his wife (Katherine Heigl) have to go on the run from hired assassins, but their efforts to escape and keep themselves concealed are hampered somewhat by the husbands insistence that he update his Twitter account hourly. (Opens June 4)
‘Marmaduke’
My daughter is a huge fan of talking-dog movies, and shes not the only one; so theres definitely an audience for this adaptation of a 56-year-old single-panel newspaper comic.
But Owen Wilsons desultory line readings as the title character are bumming me out.
I cant watch previews for this without thinking, Is Owen OK? Is he getting depressed again? Should Woody Harrelson be called? (Opens June 4)
‘The A-Team’
The 80s TV series about a group of war vets-turned-mercenaries receives a big-screen reboot.
None of the original cast was asked back for the remake, and this angered some fans of Mr. T.
But admirers of the actor will be happy to know that his successor in the role of B.A. Baracas, Quinton Jackson, inherited an essential prop from the 80s icon: his Mohawk merkin.
Diehard devotees might also be a little teed-off that the character of John Hannibal Smith has been turned into a pastry chef who says "I love it when a flan comes together."
The scene in the trailer of a falling tank shooting at a plane has created a lot of buzz, but some action aficionados have wondered whether it goes far enough.
Apparently, the moviemakers lacked the budget to show a falling submarine shooting at a zeppelin.
The biggest departure from the series is the relocation of the teams wartime exploits from Vietnam to Iraq, which probably means The A-Team will be the first movie about the Iraq war that wont bomb at the box office. (Opens June 11)
‘The Karate Kid’
This remake stars Will Smiths son, Jaden, as a bullied kid who is helped by a martial-arts master (Jackie Chan).
The setting has been shifted to China from Reseda, Calif. Fans of the original have carped about the wisdom of retaining the title, given that Smith learns kung fu, not karate, in the film.
Others have wondered whether iconic scenes from the first film will be repeated, like the wax on, wax off training sequence.
Of course, some might wonder whether China even makes a car that is worth waxing.
Whatever changes are made, we can be certain that the underdog played by Smith will triumph over the films privileged and entitled characters, the sort of people who have the money to buy beloved movie franchises for their sons. (Opens June 11)
‘Toy Story 3’
A college-bound Andy donates his toys to a child-care center. Pixar rarely disappoints, but the company has been wise to generally stay out of the sequel business. (Opens June 18)
‘Jonah Hex’
This comic-book adaptation from the makers of the Crank series is about a disfigured gunslinger who battles the forces of hell.
Test screenings have elicited mostly negative reactions, which is surprising when one considers the high expectations set up by the phrase from the makers of the Crank series.
The films tagline, Revenge Gets Ugly, would seem to imply that revenge is occasionally lemon-scented and quilted-for-softness. (Opens June 18)
‘Grown Ups’
After their high school basketball coach passes away, five friends (played mostly by former Saturday Night Live cast members) reunite in middle age for a Fourth of July holiday weekend.
Hijinks are contractually obligated to ensue.
According to the films production notes, these men discover why growing older doesnt mean growing up.
So I guess Grown Ups is like The Big Chill without all that irritating character development. (Opens June 25)
‘Knight and Day’
"True Lies" has never spawned a sequel, but it has certainly spawned a lot of imitators.
"Killers" will get to the premise first in June, but I dont think Tom Cruise has anything to fear from Ashton Kutcher.
I do wonder if Cruise is too brittle to carry off something this breezy.
(Opens June 25)
‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’
Whom would you rather take to prom, a vampire or a werewolf? That sounds like the setup for a joke, but it is – in fact – one of the most serious philsophical quandaries of our age if your age is 14. (Opens June 30)
‘The Last Airbender’
My 7-year-old daughter has fallen in love with the animated series on which this film is based, and for good reason: It is funny, exciting and has a strong and scintillating narrative arc.
And I have fallen in love with the idea that the director here, M. Night Shyamalan, will get back in moviegoers good graces. (Opens July 2)
‘Predators’
There appear to be elements of Pitch Black and The Most Dangerous Game in this reboot of the franchise from Robert Rodriguez (Desperado, Machete).
After enduring many lackluster follow-ups, frustrated fans hope that Rodriguez finally delivers the Predator sequel they deserve and have been led to expect despite the fact that the first film really wasnt all that good, either. (Opens July 9)
‘Inception’
This sci-fi thriller from Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight) is about people (including Leonardo DiCaprio) who have the power to steal dreams. This alarms ordinary citizens until they realize that they wouldnt mind if someone stole that one about having to take the final exam in a class theyd never attended. (Opens July 16)
‘Salt’
This movie about a CIA officer named Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) who becomes a fugitive after she is accused of being a spy was originally developed for Tom Cruise.
Sure, Salts tough.
But is she tougher than Veruca? (Opens July 23)
‘The Expendables’
Back in the heyday of the American action hero (which began when Arnold Schwarzenegger said Ill be back and ended when Wesley Snipes said Always bet on black), spindly and pudgy boys would get together and imagine a film that starred all the (then) greats: Sylvester Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme.
We live in times that are far better for actors who care more about acting than stardom, because contemporary cinematic thespians can move in and out of the action genre at will. They arent trapped there like Stallone was.
For reasons that probably have more to do with stardom than acting, Stallone has chosen this summer to release that aforementioned all-star action flick.
But where are the stars?
Instead of Van Damme, we get Randy Couture.
What exactly is a Randy Couture?
It sounds like a term that refers to an oversexed French dressmaker.
(Opens Aug. 13)
‘Piranha 3D’
In 1977, Richard Dreyfus turned down a role in Jaws 2.
More than three decades later, he is starring in Piranha 3D.
Discuss amongst yourselves. (Opens Aug. 27)