The hastily called news conference in which U.S. Rep. Mark Souder announced he was resigning was, in its own peculiar way, almost surreal.

Reporters crowded into his little office in the Federal Building on Tuesday, milling around for 20 minutes, wondering about the future of the staff and the interns.

Then the door to Souder’s office opened, and it was Souder, not a staffer, who held the door for reporters as they filed in. Souder then had to weave his way through the gaggle of cameras and people and duck into a closet to find a portable lectern. As he did, he apologized for the lack of preparation. The news conference had been planned very much at the last minute, he said.

Then he began to speak, emotionally acknowledging what he called a relationship with a staffer and announcing he would resign Friday.

Then he slapped a handful of copies of his statement on the desk and walked out. That was it.

The revelation was stunning. I thought, here’s a guy who doesn’t even dance because his religion frowns on it, and it turns out he had an affair.

But, I wondered, why is he resigning? Yes, he had an affair with a woman. That wouldn’t look good on anybody’s résumé, but is it really a career killer? I mean, he wasn’t trying to seduce teenage congressional pages. He didn’t get caught with a prostitute in a D.C. fountain.

I wondered, is he not a barroom brawler of a politician? Politicians, to me, are like cornered leopards, never-surrender types who will fight until they’ve torn out their last claw. Giant egos. Smooth talking but ruthless deep inside.

He could still run, I thought. We all know the drill: apologize, do a little bit of public self-flagellation and then hammer away at other issues and see what happens.

South Carolina’s governor, for example, acknowledged his indiscretions but firmly refused to resign. Lots of other well-known politicians have found themselves in serious jams but refused to step down.

Instead, just as word of his affair was about to get out, Souder made his own pre-emptive strike, confessing, quitting and walking out, saying it was over.

He indicated his disgust for other politicians, caught in the same predicament, who go before the public with their spouses at their sides, confessing and asking forgiveness, using their spouses as tools in a sort of she-forgives-me-so-you-can-too argument.

He deliberately didn’t have any family members stand with him. He stood alone, confessing.

Maybe he’s just tired, I thought.

He referred to the strain of expensive elections every two years. He said he no longer experienced any kind of normal life, neglecting his family, friends, church and community.

The reality, though, seems to be that Souder is trying to salvage his family. If he ran for re-election, the revelation of his affair would become a daily debate in a campaign. They’d have to relive it every day, listening to a constant flow of new details. One has to ask, can a family really survive that?

I suppose it depends on who you are. There are lots of politicians out there to whom their position is everything, and there are lots of politicians’ wives who seem to feel the same way. It’s as though the real question is, is it better to be a member of Congress who got caught in an affair or an ex-member of Congress who got caught. The office is what really matters to them.

In the end, perhaps the real answer is that Souder is ashamed of himself. He recognizes the hypocrisy of having an affair when he was a champion of family-oriented values.

There is a certain amount of honor in that, knowing when to be ashamed.