Once upon a time the Big Ten was a conference where Woody Hayes took on blizzards in his shirtsleeves, where he and Bo Schembechler traded off-tackle runs like punches, where tough guys reigned and everyone else played at Northwestern or IU.
No more. Big Ten football has officially taken up knitting.
I say this upon the news that the conference announced it would play its first championship football game in the Big Living Room in Indianapolis, aka Lucas Oil Stadium. No Ice Bowl for them, thanks. No allowing a chill breeze to muss anyone's hair. They'll play indoors, where the temperature is a uniform 72 or so degrees and the only climactic disturbance will likely come from Bo and Woody up there in the Great Beyond, shaking their heads at what a fine collection of candyasses their beloved conference has become.
Tea and crumpets to follow.