We’ll start by saying this: Every high school sports team in Allen County is filled with brilliant athletes. Each team is fierce, skilled and – notice the evenhanded approach here – No. 1 in our book.

But this particular story isn’t about the athletes or even the schools themselves. This story is about the mascots. Could a Knight defeat a Lion? Who would win in a fight between a hawk and a horse? Does a cavalier stand a chance against a bulldog?

In honor of the 2010-11 high school sports year, here is our bracket for the Battle of the Mascots.

(High schools are listed in alphabetical order.)

Sweet Sixteen

Bishop Luers Knights vs. Bishop Dwenger Saints

Winner: Saints. What can we say? God is on their side. Miracles are to saints what a hard left hook is to Smokin’ Joe Frazier.

Canterbury Cavaliers vs. Carroll Chargers

Winner: Chargers. A Cavalier is defined as a mounted horseman, but it also can be a “courtly gentleman” who supported Charles I of England in his battle with parliament. And this means hair worn in ringlets, lace cuffs and collars, and plumed hats. A war horse from the middle ages wins this one hands down.

Concordia Cadets vs. Harding Hawks

Winner: Hawks. While it’s true that a cadet training to be an officer in the military will know how to use a gun, if you’ve ever seen a hawk swoop down at 120 mph, grab a Chihuahua in its mouth and fly away, you know we humans barely stand a chance.

Homestead Spartans vs. Heritage Patriots

Winner: Spartans. Patriots? Incredibly brave and loyal. Spartans? One of the most feared armies in all of human history, even though they wore skirts.

Leo Lions vs. New Haven Bulldogs

Winner: Lions. Although this would have been an interesting contest had the Lions been teamed up with the Saints, there really is no contest here.

North Side Redskins vs. Northrop Bruins

Winner: Redskins. According to the dictionary, the bruin was the baby brown bear in the fable “Reynard the Fox.” Also, a brown bear makes an interesting rug.

Snider Panthers vs. South Side Archers

Winner: Panthers. Try shoving a housecat out of its favorite chair. Now picture the cat weighing more than 100 pounds and waiting until dark to ambush you.

Wayne Generals vs. Woodlan Warriors

Winner: Warriors. Mano-a-mano, a general is at a disadvantage here. A brilliant plan doesn’t always win out against a dude used to ripping someone’s face off.

Elite Eight

Bishop Dwenger Saints vs. Carroll Chargers

Winner: Saints. You can’t expect a horse to win when it has no hands and buck teeth.

Harding Hawks vs. Homestead Spartans

Winner: Spartans. The ancient Spartans began training for battle during infancy, while hawks are still gnawing on mice.

Leo Lions vs. North Side Redskins

Winner: Redskins. And, if a “redskin” could also battle with whoever it was that made up the term “redskin,” he’d win that one, too.

Snider Panthers vs. Woodlan Warriors

Winner: Panthers. A panther never sleeps – it naps. Warriors have been known to snore for six hours straight.

Final Four

Bishop Dwenger Saints vs. Homestead Spartans

Winner: Spartans. Spartans live to fight. Saints have other things on their minds – like serving God and avoiding lions.

Leo Lions vs. Snider Panthers

Winner: Lions. King of the jungle. ’Nuff said.

Championship

Homestead Spartans vs. Leo Lions

Winner: Spartans. Before battle, the mothers of Spartan soldiers would tell their sons, “Return with your shield or on it.” We hear lion mothers are much more casual.

edowns@jg.net