So now that Jared Allen, Ryan Longwell and Steve Hutchinson have gone to Hattiesburg, Miss., and physically dragged the endlessly dithering Brett Favre back to Minnesota, I have a few ideas what was really said to close the deal:
1. "Oh, good grief, Brett. We told you already. Nobody's going to make you eat the broccoli at training table."
2. "If you come back with us today, you can ride in a black SUV and we'll get the news helicopters to track it from the air on the way to camp, just like O.J."
3. "Bum ankle, you say? How'd you'd like a bum ass? 'Cause if you don't get off yours right now, we're going to kick it until you forget all about your poor widdle ankle."
And last but not least:
4. "Tarvaris says hi. Oh, and you're a wuss."