Part One, of course, being the whole bunker thing at the PGA Championship, when rules officials basically made players guess what was a bunker and what wasn't by allowing spectators to traipse through them at will.
Now comes the latest outrage out of the LPGA, in which Juli Inkster, tied for second at the time, was disqualified for using a weighted donut on her club to stay loose during a 30-minute delay at the 10th tee.
Never mind the fact that the rule itself, like so many rules in golf, serves no apparent purpose. The real absurdity is that a fan watching on TV called in the infraction ... and the LPGA honored it.
That golf allows this sort of thing is, not to belabor the obvious, ridiculous. Really? Some dope with no life watching on TV can alter the course of a tournament?
Look, if a rules official catches her in the act, so be it. She's out. But if the rules official doesn't, too bad. That should be the end of it.
Again, not to belabor the obvious, but rules officials are charged with enforcing the rules. That's what they get paid for. If you're going to allow some loser on his couch to in essence do the same the job, then pay him for it. If you're not willing to do that, stop taking calls from Mr. Busybody.
I mean, the dimpleheads are always prattling on about what a sense of honor golf has. And yet golf is the only game I know in which the powers-that-be enlist Joe Fan as an unpaid snitch.
Now where is the "honor" in that, exactly? Someone please point it out to me.