And now, because a man can never have too much ridicule in his life ... here are my NFL picks in all the relevant categories, and some that bear no resemblance whatsoever to relevance:
1. Most Overrated Team: The Jets, the Jets, the J-E-T-S Jets. Yeah, they talk a lot. Yeah, they signed Darrelle Revis, so their defense is set. Yeah, they've added LT to their offensive arsenal. Yeah they ... talk a lot.
But talk, as they say, is cheap. Facts, however, are not, and the facts are 1) Mark Sanchez is closer to the second coming of Steve DeBerg than the second coming of Joe Namath; 2) The Jets got to the playoffs last year in large part because the Colts played dead in their first meeting; 3) They got out of the first round in large part because San Diego kicker Nate Kaeding did the same thing; and 4) The Colts handled them easily in the AFC title game.
How this adds up to the Jets being a favorite to reach the Super Bowl this year is beyond me.
2. Second Most Overrated Team: The Cowboys. Doesn't Wade Phillips still coach this team? And doesn't Mr. September, Tony Romo, still quarterback them?
The only thing Romo's ever done in January is go to Mexico with Jessica Simpson. If I had to pick among Drew Brees, Brett Favre, Aaron Rodgers and Romo in January ... well, there's a reason I listed Romo last. Fail.
3. Most Overrated Comeback: Brett Favre. If you think he's going to throw 33 touchdown passes with only seven interceptions this season, I've got some nice oceanfront property in Kansas you should see.
4. Things That Will Make You Go "What Th--?": The Detroit Lions (who'll be better, and maybe a lot better, than you think). The Washington Redskins (who'll be worse, and maybe a lot worse, than you think). The Ocho-T.O. Show (which will be a bigger hit than you think). The Kyle Orton Show (which is another way of saying the Tim Tebow Show will not be as a big a hit as you think).
5. Guy I Would Not Like To Be Right Now: Bears coach Lovie Smith, especially if Mike Martz can't turn Jay Cutler around.
6. Guy I Would Most Like To Be: Lions coach Jim Schwartz, who, if wins six games or so, will be the NFL Coach of the Year.
7. Guy I Would Like To Be Just Because, Well, He's a Cool Guy: Drew Brees.
8. Your AFC Champions: Indianapolis.
9. Your NFC Champions: Green Bay.
10. Your Super Bowl Champions: Da Colts.