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Things I would like to hear but never will

So I'm driving to work tonight and I'm listening to a sound bite from the Jets' Ladainian Tomlinson, who's reacting to the news that Jets receiver/resident nitwit Braylon Edwards was cited for DUI at 5 a.m. this morning.

Tomlinson's take was about what you'd expect, which is that we support Braylon and we're behind me all the way as he goes through this and blah-blah-blah.

And it got me to thinking: What if, just once, you could spike a guy's drink with truth serum right before he went on the air to make a statement like this?

I'm thinking his reaction would have been one of two things:

1. "What a selfish (bleep). Like we don't have enough problems at wide receiver with Santonio (Holmes) out. Now this (bleep) goes out and gets himself arrested and/or probably suspended. Bleepin' bleep."

2. "What do I think? I think he's an idiot. And if the rest of these clowns want to 'support Braylon', they can do it without me."

Wouldn't that be great?

Ben Smith's blog.