Derrick Banks, 33, spent part of Father's Day twirling a fork of free spaghetti at the Fort Wayne Rescue Mission.

He had no plans to call his dad, who was somewhere in Fort Wayne, and no desire to find out where he was.

"Father's Day can be sad," said Banks, whose father virtually disappeared when was 7. "I never had one growing up. I mean, I did, but he was never around."

Banks' tale is common at the Rescue Mission, a men's shelter where many see Father's Day as more of a cause for sorrow than celebration.

According to a recent survey conducted by the Rescue Mission, about 85 percent of the shelter's overnight guests have a broken or strained relationship with their own children. All men who reported a troubled relationship with their children also said they had no significant relationship with their own fathers.

The Rev. Donovan Coley, CEO of Rescue Ministries, which runs the mission, conducted the survey to explore the effects of "fatherlessness" on many of the homeless men who walk through the doors. He said he found the survey results troubling but not surprising.

"We knew there was a connection between fatherlessness and the bad decisions women and men make," he said. "(The study) confirmed what we thought, though we didn't want it to be confirmed."

In response to the survey findings, Coley says the shelter will change its programs to help men "unpack some of the issues" they have with growing up without a strong father figure.

Standing outside the shelter, Douglas Reid, 22, said he certainly had "issues" with his father.

"I have a sucky relationship with my dad," he said, before explaining that things were complicated.

Reid's father threw him out of the house six months ago in a "tough love" move, Reid said. When he couldn't find a job and get on his feet, his father dropped him off at the shelter.

"It's both a happy and a sad day," he said. "I miss my dad. I haven't called him in a while. Today, I'll probably call him."

While Reid at least has a father, Banks' story more closely mimics those in the survey: His mom died when he was 7, and his dad left him shortly afterward. He was raised in Grabill by his grandparents and saw his father only occasionally. From what he's heard, his dad was in trouble with the law and addicted to drugs, he said.

Some in Banks' family have compared him to his father, but he says he's trying hard not to become a survey statistic.

At lunch Sunday, Banks was joined by his fiancée and his soon-to-be stepchildren, ages 4 and 5.

"When I was in school activities, my dad never showed up," said Banks, who lives with a friend. "He could have called, but he never did. I don't want (these kids) to think their dad is like that. If I'm a stepdad, I will be there. I believe a father-son bond is a real good thing."

dhaynie@jg.net