The Better Sleep Council surveyed 1,000 Americans in 2007 and found a third reporting that their partners sleep habits affected their own sleep. But, say designers and therapists, there are plenty of creative solutions to such problems.
Im a hopeless romantic, said Beverly Hills, Calif., designer Christopher Grubb, who likes helping clients enjoy sleeping in the same room.
Snoring, he says, is a common problem among his clients, and one found relief with an anti-snoring pillow from Sona, one of several companies that offer pillows designed to help prevent snoring by keeping the sleepers airway open.
Grubb also suggests sheets with a high thread count to maximize comfort, a mid-weight comforter to balance different temperature preferences, and beds that cater to partners different needs.
Sometimes, that can mean two mattresses, side by side. For example, Leggett & Platt offers a bed base called the Prodigy. Imagine two hospital beds side by side, each of which can be raised and lowered independently, plus a massage feature that can be used as a silent alarm in the morning. Each partner has a separate mattress and can choose its firmness.
Going to this extra effort is worth it, says Tina Tessina, a psychotherapist who blogs as Dr. Romance, and is the author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media, 2008).
Sleeping apart can contribute to the disconnect that plagues many relationships. It just makes it easier to avoid each other, when whats really needed is connection and contact.
Barbara Bartlein, a clinical psychotherapist in Milwaukee, Wis., and author of 75 Things To Improve Your Marriage Without Your Spouse Even Knowing (Trade Paper Press, 2010), said sleep is important, but so is the connection from sleeping together.
The key is, you must also take the time for physical closeness and intimacy. Many couples start the night together and then move apart if one person is moving, snoring, et cetera, Bartlein said.
One of the advantages of sleeping together is you have the opportunity for bedroom talk. This is the especially intimate talk that couples do in the dark that no one else ever hears.
Leta Hamilton gets her togetherness by sleeping in a king-size bed with her infant and toddler while her husband sleeps on the floor.
Hamilton, host of the Internet radio show The Way of the Toddler Hour, said her husband, James, prefers sleeping on hard surfaces and likes sleeping by himself, but their arrangement keeps him in the same room with the rest of the family.
Lissa Coffey, lifestyle spokesperson for the Better Sleep Council, said she and her husband prefer different temperatures and schedules.
She has a single electric blanket on her side of the bed so she can be toasty warm, while he prefers to sleep cooler. Coffey sleeps later, so her husband uses a soothing alarm that doesnt disturb her in the morning.