Today's obligatory Roll Of The Eyes is in honor of Baltimore Ravens' linebacker Ray Lewis, who thinks the fate of the nation, or something, hangs on whether or not the NFL plays this fall.
According to Ray-Ray, there'll be looting, mayhem, cats and dogs living together if America turns on its televisions on Sundays this fall and doesn't see Peyton Manning throwing zig-outs to Austin Collie. Why, they'll go mad, if that happens! Stark raving mad!
Which seems the perfect segue here, considering that the more you listen to Ray-Ray talk about this, the more he sounds like a complete lunatic. I mean, really? Without the NFL, the very fabric of society is going to unravel? Peaceful law-abiding citizens will morph intro soulless criminals rather than surrender to a fate worse than death -- i.e., spending Sunday afternoons watching, say, NASCAR or soccer?
PEACEFUL LAW-ABIDING AMERICAN WOMAN: Where are you going, dear?
PEACEFUL LAW-ABIDING AMERICAN MAN: There's no NFL! All I can find on TV is NASCAR, soccer and reruns of "Law & Order: SVU"! My only possible recourse is to run out and loot the Walmart -- and maybe Lowe's, too, if I have time!
Yeesh. Is this the way everyone in the NFL sees themselves? Are they really all as delusional as this?
If so, I sort of hope they don't work out their deal. I'd love to see Ray-Ray and his ilk wake up some Sunday this fall and realize that they're not really that indispensable to staving off Armageddon. I'd love to see the shock on their faces when America turns on its TV sets, sees no NFL, and does what Americans have done forever: Shrug and move on to something else.