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Associated Press
Dallas Mavericks Dirk Nowitzki, left, and teammate Jason Kidd ride past Reunion Tower during the team's victory parade in downtown Dallas on Thursday.

Pipe(s) dream

So you thought you'd heard the worst of it when A) Ozzie Osbourne fumbled his way through "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" at Wrigley Field, and B) Roseanne Barr nearly provoked an international incident in her own country when she took a meat cleaver to the national anthem at a baseball game.

Au contraire, mon frere. Wait'll you get a load of the vocal stylings of Dirk Nowitzki, aka the Teutonic Tunesmith, callin' the hogs with this chilling version of "We Are The Champions."

Somewhere Freddie Mercury just burst screaming from beneath the sod.

As the rest of us ... well, we can't wait for the release of the Christmas album: "I Got Your Silent Night Right Here: Dirk Nowitzki Sings Your Holiday Faves."

Ben Smith's blog.