This just in from the law offices of Larry, Curley and Moe: Roger Clemens not only beat the rap without his good stuff, he beat it without having to throw a pitch.
All he and his Tiffany-class attorney, Rusty Hardin, had to do was sit back and let federal prosecutors Stooge their way to a mistrial by violating the judge's instructions with their very first piece of evidence.
To quote Curley, the spokesperson for the Feds: "Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop."
At issue was a videotape of Andy Pettitte's testimony before Congress in 2008 that the feds decided to show the court. In it, Pettitte testifies that he told his wife that Clemens had confessed using PEDs. This immediately violated Judge Reggie Walton's instructions that any mention of Pettitte's wife in testimony would be inadmissible.
Way to go, guys.
And here's hoping, while we're on the subject, that this puts a final torpedo in an anti-drug jihad that has thrown God knows how much cabbage down a rabbit hole to pursue the likes of Clemens and Barry Bonds (who, by the way, also beat the feds' rap). Simply put, it's a monumental waste of money, time and resource, considering the taxpayers are footing the bill and protecting the sanctity of some sport's record book is hardly a matter of vital public interest.
If I waved a magic wand tomorrow and every player who ever juiced went to jail, it wouldn't make a single Average Joe's life better, or affect it in any way whatsoever. So why should any of us care about this?
I, for one, don't.