Have you ever seen the movie Waitress? You know the one – Keri Russell (let’s be honest and just call her Felicity) works in a pie shop and is a pie genius. She invents pies like Mermaid Pie and Pregnant Miserable Self Pitying Loser Pie and Earl Murders Me Because I’m Having An Affair Pie and I Can’t Have No Affair Because It’s Wrong And I Don’t Want Earl To Kill Me Pie.
Well, today, if I had to invent a pie, it would be You’re a Mean Man, Wade, Sour Apple Pie with Sour Patch Kid garnish, of course.
I don’t want to bash paying customers but he had a seriously sour attitude and he bashed the Queen Pin desserts. Do they need ice cream to taste better? Whatev. I bet he eats vanilla ice cream with a side of vanilla wafers. He doesn’t know how to appreciate a Snickerdoodle Cupcake or cherry pie-lette (my fancy way of saying personal pie) or a Sour Apple Pie.
By the way, I wonder just how you would make a Sour Apple Pie. It’s not like you would want to melt down Sour Patch Kids and use the gel as a dip. Or, maybe you would. Anyway I tried to look up such a pie on my fave baking blogs and came up short. A Google search came up with sour cream apple pies. I tried searching tart apple pie and all I got was apple pie tarts. Pedestrian. All pedestrian.
The only thing that I can think of is tossing the apples in cinnamon, sugar and citric acid granules, which you can get at Country Kitchen. It could be really good or really, really bad.