Now here's a fine howdy-do from our neighbors to the north -- whose national game, I seem to recall, involves people with sticks colliding with one another at high speed on ice skates and occasionally (and legally!) trading punches.
God knows what the folks at this school would do with that.
Probably faint dead away, given their grotesque overreaction to a teacher accidentally catching a soccer ball to the head and suffering a concussion. I mean, really, now. Because of one incident, you're not going to let kids bring soccer balls or baseballs or footballs or even tennis balls to school? How are they supposed to amuse themselves at recess? A rousing game of Duck, Duck, Goose?
Although, come to think of it, that involves running, and everyone knows how dangerous running is. Some tyke could fall and skin his or her knee. So that's likely out, too.