And now for the Blob's still-wildly-popular-in-some-isolated-areas weekly feature, The NFL In So Many Words ...
1. Get a T.O., baby!
2. Wait, we didn't mean you, Jason Garrett.
3. Dan Orlovsky!
4. No, really: Dan Orlovsky!
5. .... and on this week's episode of "American Pickers," the Houston Texans find a quarterback and a wide receiver between a hand-crank washing machine and six old Burma Shave signs.
6. Speaking of which, anybody seen Philip Rivers lately?
7. Oh, there he is, tormenting his pet Jaguar.
8. Paging Bonnie and Clyde ... paging Bonnie and Clyde ...
9. The Lions just claimed you off waivers.
10. But first, this timeout. Brought to you by Jason Garrett.