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And Another Thing

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No more flip-flops

Apocalypse now

I think I've just been insulted.

Imagine, Major League Baseball implying that sportswriters don't know how to dress by issuing a dress code for reporters. Obviously they've never seen me in one of my many tasteful Hawaiians -- which, as any savvy sportswriter knows, are the optimum look for covering up food stains.

Actually, according to the Associated Press, the no-wear list doesn't include mustard-print Hawaiians. It does, however, include "visible undergarments, muscle shirts or anything with a team logo." Also flip-flops.

This leaves open a lot of equally unfortunate alternatives, such as too-sizes-too-small golf shirts on guys whose physiques more suggest tent-wear, and the shapeless pants a certain motor-racing writer used to wear slung low on his hips beneath his, um, spacious mid-section.

In accordance with the no-ratting-out clause of the Sportswriter Code of Conduct, I won't name the guy. But his look inspired one of my colleagues to say it had given him the perfect name for a metal band: "(Certain Motor-Racing Writer's) Pants."

As for me ... well, I'm probably safe. I haven't worn visible undergarments, at least on purpose, since the first grade. You have to have muscles to wear a muscle shirt. And there's no way I'd wear flip-flops into a baseball clubhouse.

No, not because of the fungus among us. Because ... well, a sportswriter wearing flip-flops in the clubhouse of the team he's covered and possibly ticked off at some point in time?

Shoot. You might as well volunteer to hot-foot yourself.

Ben Smith's blog.

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