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And Another Thing

Associated Press

Why I don't tweet, reason No. 2,341

I'm frequently told I need to jump into the Twitter pool, on account of, as one person puts it, "You'd be great in 144 characters."

(Or maybe it's 142. Or 137. Or 237. I really don't know, frankly).

Anyway ... let me give you another reason why I haven't gone Twitter yet: Because too often, it's just a vast mindless wasteland, strewn with landmines, that brings out everyone's inner seventh-grade girl.

(Or boy. Although the following sounds more like a girl spat to me).

I say this after the little Kendrick Perkins/LeBron James spat this week, prompted by a glowing tweet from LeBron about Blake Griffin dunking on Perkins. Perkins took offense. LeBron took offense at Perkins taking offense. Now they won't sit next to each other in the lunchroom anymore.

Worse for LeBron, while he was taking offense at Perkins taking offense, he said some really seventh-grade girl/boy stuff, like how everybody blames him for things that aren't his fault and it's not fair and I'm going to my room to listen to some Miley Cyrus now. Hmmph!

"I'm an easy target; if someone wants to get a point across -- just throw LeBron's name in there," James said. "You could be watching cartoons with your kids and you don't like it, you say, 'Blame it on LeBron.' If you go to the grocery store and they don't have the milk that you like, you just say, 'It's LeBron's fault.' "

Yes, that's right, LeBron. Every waking minute I'm thinking of you. Everything that happens to me I automatically apply to you or refract through you or measure its impact through you. I wear a WWLD (What Would LeBron Do?) bracelet, and so does everyone else in America.

Yeesh. I know professional athletes all trend in this direction, but is this guy self-absorbed, or what?

And has anyone outside of the aforementioned seventh-grader ever whined so extravagantly?

Ben Smith's blog.