You can't run like you used to. You can't jump like you used to. Young punks at the Y call you "Gramps" now.
I've got just the remedy for your over-the-hill blues.
Jose Canseco wants to play baseball again!
OK, so it's only the Mexican League he's trying out for, but hope springs eternal, especially when it's February. And off the 47-year-old Canseco goes, even though he hasn't played professionally since his stint with the White Sox in 2001.
Now, then. Don't you feel better?