So if you go onto ESPN.com, where, as with all the other Worldwide Leader platforms, they're hyperventilating over the NFL draft tonight (excuse me: The NFL DRAFT!!!!), this is what you'll see now.
Wow. Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay debating not who the best running back in the draft is, but who the second-best running back is.
Does it make me a bad person if I say I couldn't care less?
First of all, we're talking running backs, the most disposable (and easily replaceable) commodity in pro football. Second of all .... well, the Drama and Excitement of the NFL DRAFT!!! went out for me when the Colts announced they were taking Andrew Luck with the No. 1 pick, which means the Redskins will take Robert Griffin III with the second pick.
So why do I need to watch now?
Look, I suppose if I was a fan of a specific team, I'd be interested in seeing who my team took in the first, second, maybe even third rounds. (After that, you're entering into serious geekdom territory. I mean, really, who's riveted by a fourth-round pick?).
But I'm not a fan of a specific team. So, no, I'm not really transfixed by whether or not the Dolphins take Ryan Tannehill, or whether the Ravens take some offensive lineman I never heard of over some defensive linemen I never heard of. And I'm not going to sit in front of my TV waiting to find out, or at least to see McShay's analysis bounce off Kiper's bulletproof hair.
No thanks. Instead, tonight I'll be occupied watching Game 7 between the Komets and Missouri Mavericks.
You know: An actual sporting event.