The best of recent jokes by late-night comedians:
How many of you have the Paul Ryan fever? They say that Paul Ryan will humanize Romney. And I thought, hell, an amoeba could humanize Romney.
In college Paul Ryan drove the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. So he and Romney have something in common. Both have the experience of driving a car with a dog on the roof.
Mitt Romney is hoping to energize Republicans by announcing Paul Ryan as his running mate. Seriously? Thats like trying to spice up a bowl of oatmeal with more oatmeal.
It was a great Olympics – Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough to swallow – especially when they had to make all of our Were No. 1 T-shirts.
On Saturday, Mitt Romney chose Paul Ryan as his running mate. Forty-three percent of Americans have never heard of Ryan and the others thought he was the private that Tom Hanks brought home from Normandy.
Romney and Ryan kind of look like a father and son in an ad for Super Cuts.
Wasnt it thrilling when the U.S. womens team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens.
Usain Bolt won the gold for the mens 100- and 200-meter dashes for the second Olympics in a row. You know, he has been running since he was in elementary school – kind of like Mitt Romney.