And now for this week's edition of the rage that's sweeping the land, the Blob's The NFL In So Many Words:
1. Dez Bryant, meet Mapquest. Mapquest, meet Dez Bryant. You may now commence running the right routes now.
2. Pick up, Jay Cutler. Your offensive coordinator would like to speak to you.
3. Jay! Pick up!
4. And by the way, your offensive coordinator says having Nickelback as your on-hold music is not funny. Not funny at all.
5. Anyone else miss those 3-hour, 40-minute games, now that the real refs are back?
6. Didn't think so.
7. Hey, isn't that Matt Ryan back there in his own end zone?
8. Oh, wait. My bad. He's 60 yards downfield now, getting the Falcons in position for a game-winning field goal.
9. Mark Sanchez's Sunday numbers: 13-of-29, 103 yards and a 39.3 quarterback rating in a 34-0 shutout loss to the 49ers. Tebow Time! Alert Level: Defcon 1.
10. Drew Brees' Sunday numbers: 35-of-54, 446 yards, 3 touchdowns and a 109.9 QB rating. Probability That You Noticed Because The Saints Are 0-4: Zero percent.