The best of recent jokes by late-night comedians:
Mitt Romney has been preparing for the debate by debating a Republican senator who plays the part of President Obama. Meanwhile, President Obama has been preparing for Romney by debating an ATM machine.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was on 60 Minutes promoting his book. He said you cant run from your mistakes. You have to confront them. Yeah, especially if they look exactly like you and keep calling you dad.
Florida election officials say at least 10 counties have identified suspicious and possibly fraudulent voter registration forms. And they were turned in by a firm working for the Republican Party of Florida. I guess they got suspicious when they realized most of the votes were for Bob Dole.
A new survey shows how much time we waste every day. For example, we waste seven minutes in line waiting for coffee, 28 minutes getting through airport security, and four years waiting for President Obama to do something about the economy.
Arnold Schwarzeneggers book is out today. Arnolds book reveals all the secrets he kept from his wife. Thats why its a million pages long.
Despite the scandal, Schwarzenegger was a popular governor. So popular that Republicans wanted to repeal the natural-born citizen law that prevented him from running for president. So a president born in Austria would have been OK, but a president born in Kenya – no!
Ann Romney says that if Mitt is elected she would worry about his mental health. Well, theres a ringing endorsement.
These debates are tightly controlled. Each side, Obama and Romney, had to agree to 32 pages of rules. Its like being a Kardashian husband.