The best of recent jokes by late-night comedians:
They spotted Mitt Romney at Costco. One day you’re running for president of the United States. The next day you’re shopping at Costco for giant jugs of mayonnaise. While you’re at Costco, go ahead and return that oval rug you ordered.
Mitt Romney got a job at a Marriott hotel. President Obama’s trying to stop us from going over the fiscal cliff. Mitt Romney is trying to stop people from stealing towels.
A new book coming out reveals that Florida Sen. Marco Rubio was born a Catholic, became a Mormon, then returned to the Catholic Church, then became a Baptist, then again returned to the Catholic Church. And I think he’s at it again because he’s now asking people to call him Marco Rubinstein.
A record number of people are naming their babies after Apple products. It’s the perfect way to tell your newborn, We’re planning to replace you in six months.’
Today in Washington, President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name: Running Deficit.’
The CEO of The Cheesecake Factory is now warning that Obamacare will be very costly. Hey, The Cheesecake Factory is one of the reasons we need Obamacare in the first place.
McDonald’s just announced that it’s bringing back the McRib later this month. Or, as the Mayans put it, Hey, we tried to warn you.’
Barbara Walters has released part of her Most Fascinating People’ list. This year Hillary Clinton and Honey Boo Boo are both on it. That’s right. The woman who may soon be president – and Hillary Clinton.