I see you over there, Mr. Impulse Buyer. You've got a wad of cash as big as the Hindenburg and it's burning a hole right through your pocket.
Well ... have I got a deal for you!
It springs from the premise that there's literally nothing about the Super Bowl you can't wager money on; just check this list here. Really three separate bets involving Alicia Keys and the National Anthem? Who President Obama will pick to win? What will happen to the Dow Jones the day after the game?
Pretty awesome stuff. But if this list isn't enough for you, here's a few more things you could bet on:
1. Over/under, descriptions of Harbaughs as "Tom Crean's brothers-in-law."
2. Over/under, number of times the Super Bowl party guest who never watches football asks "Now who's the team in purple again?"
3. Over/under, number of times same guest says "I think No. 52 is having some sort of seizure"; "Can we switch over to 'Downtown Abbey' at halftime?"; or "Now which ones are the brothers again?"
4. At what point during the game will the following make its first appearance: The *Etrade baby; Flo; Mike Rowe and/or Mike Rowe's parents; The Most Interesting Man In The World.
5. First person to fall asleep when the game gets out of hand in the second half: You; your wife; Downtown Abbey Guy; Tom Crean.
6. President Obama's most surprising invitee to watch the game at the White House: Speaker of the House John Boehner; NRA president Wayne LaPierre; radio wingnut Rush Limbaugh; Tom Crean.
7. Who from among the above bogarts Obama's last beer.
8. Over/under, number of times the phrase "read option" will be used.
9. Over/under, number of times someone says Joe Flacco has "the strongest arm in the NFL."
10. Over/under, number of catty comments on Twitter within five minutes of A) Keys' performance of the National Anthem, or B) Beyonce's halftime performance.