The best of recent jokes by late-night comedians:
Former Senator Pete Domenici of New Mexico revealed that while in office he fathered a child with the daughter of another senator, who was a friend of his. He cheated on his wife with the daughter of another senator and they had a baby. When did the Senate become The Jerry Springer Show?’
Former Chicago Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. pled guilty to misusing hundreds of thousands of dollars of campaign funds for personal use, including buying a $43,000 Rolex watch. How ironic is that? All that money on a watch, and now he’s going to wind up doing time.
The Italian press is reporting that the next pope could be the cardinal from Boston. If he gets the job, he’ll be the first pope to make you kiss his 2007 World Series ring.
It’s been reported that after the pope retires, he’ll receive a relatively small pension. So don’t be surprised to see an elderly German on the sidewalk with a sign that reads Will pope for food.’
There’s talk that the White House may fine China for its recent cyberattacks on American companies. The fine could total in the millions of dollars, which is great because we could really use that money to pay back China.
The White House’s immigration plan was leaked over the weekend, and Florida Senator Marco Rubio is already calling it dead on arrival.’ That, incidentally, is also Florida’s state motto.
They’re going to miss Pope Benedict. He’s very underrated. This is the guy who wanted to replace Communion wafers with unlimited breadsticks.
They’re looking for a new pope. Each candidate will get a week’s tryout with Kelly Ripa.