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Editorial columns

  • High medical bills pay middlemen
    I was at a restaurant in Boston, sitting next to some high-powered business professionals.
  • Toll Road lease remains 'win-win' for Hoosiers
    Soon I will be retiring from my political career, a rich experience spanning 38 years of representing the interests of Hoosiers in Fort Wayne, Allen County and Indiana.
  • Public school backers deserve your backing
    Elections in Indiana are critically important and represent the most fundamental decision-making authority of a representative government. Elections choose our leadership and guide our state’s future.
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Late-night humor

Stephen Colbert

“Some unelected, activist judge has rejected stop and frisk on the bizarre theory that minorities have the constitutional right not to be stopped at random and manhandled by strangers.

“Despite the fact that when the Constitution was written, minorities weren’t even invented yet.”

Conan O’Brien

“North Korea has announced that it’s developing its own smartphone. Unfortunately, the phones are so smart, they’ve already escaped from North Korea.”

“San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has been accused of sexual harassment by (16) women, and now there’s so many a hotline has been established to take any new sexual harassment claims. The number is 1-800-How Is This Guy Still Mayor?”

“As part of her anti-obesity campaign, first lady Michelle Obama is releasing a hip-hop album. The name of the album is ‘Fat Beats for Fat Kids.’ ”

“A man in Colorado wants marijuana to be classified as a vegetable. I just have to say that that’s an ingenious way to get Americans to stop smoking pot.”

Jimmy Fallon

“The new iPhone is coming soon. The new iPhone is going to have a new feature that actually keeps track of your every movement. Then President Obama was like, ‘Right. NEW feature.’ ”

Jay Leno

“Anthony Weiner has released a 19-page booklet on how to improve life in New York City. Oh, please. If Weiner wants to improve life in New York City, he should move to New Jersey.”

Jimmy Kimmel

“Some park rangers in California found a plot on which someone grew 500,000 pounds of marijuana. They assume this pot was grown by humans, but I wouldn’t rule out bears. Think about it: They sleep three months a year, all you ever see them doing is rummaging through the trash trying to find food, and their leader’s name is Smokey.”

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