Today’s the annual grand opening of the U.N. We have leaders from all over the world, and when they come here they have diplomatic immunity. They can do whatever they want, break any kind of laws. I saw a dictator today walking up Broadway carrying a 16-ounce soda.
The U.N. deals with a lot of important issues. Today they spent the entire day trying to deal with that Ben Affleck as Batman thing.
At every U.N. session there’s a special promotion. Tomorrow it’s Angela Merkel bobblehead day.
It looks like the government could be shutting down. The legal definition of a government shutdown is when Congress continues not to work, but they do it from home.
Chicago has now surpassed New York City as the murder capital of the United States. That’s really surprising since New York has twice as many NFL teams.
This is the 41st time that they have voted to repeal Obamacare. This is really not governing, this is more like a drinking game; every time they vote to defund, Boehner knocks back a Wild Turkey.
Ted Cruz is half Canadian and half Cuban. The wit of Justin Bieber combined with the people skills of Scarface.
Home Depot just announced that that it will cut health insurance for its part-time workers because of Obamacare. Home Depot’s CEO said he had a hard time breaking the news to employees. That’s because it took him three hours to find one.
Russian President Vladimir Putin just revealed he may run for a fourth term in 2018. In fact, he already came up with a few campaign posters. One says, Putin in 2018, whether you vote or not.’