Some people got together and set a new world record in Times Square yesterday for twerking. And still Vladimir Putin says Americans arent exceptional.
Cory Booker, mayor of Newark, has been tweeting with a stripper in Oregon. Hes a bachelor so when this news broke, he had to hire somebody to stand next to him and look humiliated.
The post office just cant get its act together. They announced today they want to raise the price of stamps so they can make an extra $2 billion. That is still better than their original plan – uninvent the Internet.
Theres a new issue of Cosmopolitan that explains Obamacare to women. The article is called 10 pre-existing conditions to drive your man crazy.
Interestingly, polls show that most Americans say they dont like Obamacare – but they love whats in it. Its like the opposite of a McNugget.
Both sides are blaming each other. Republicans are pointing their fingers at Democrats, Democrats are pointing their fingers at Republicans. And Americans are pointing the middle finger at both of them.
Tonight I will be covering the end of the government in a must-see TV event: the finale of Breaking Gov. Yes, tonight the United States government ends. Oh, it has been a hell of a ride, folks. What a dramatic arc. It started out as a highly sympathetic character in the 1770s, but in 230 seasons has become an egotistical, self-destructive maniac.
Did you see the Giants game on Sunday? They lost 31-7. Do you know what the Giants didnt say after that game? If you dont give us 25 more points by midnight on Monday, we will shut down the NFL.
Ted Cruz reminds me of Miley Cyrus because he is not afraid to incur the wrath of even some of his fans for the greater good of drawing attention to himself. I really think a filibuster is the political version of twerking.