And now this week's installment of the fiercely debated (What is it? And why should I care?) Blob feature, The NFL In So Many Words:
1. Tom Brady: Human or cyborg? Discuss.
2. And in other news ... Houston Texans' fans cheer Matt Schaub's injury.
3. Colts. Bolts. Superman, meet kryptonite.
4. And in other news ... Texans' fans boo kittens, puppies.
5. Eli Manning's dinner order intercepted by man two tables over. Film at 11.
6. And in other news ... Texans' fans watch "Rocky IV," cheer for Ivan Drago.
7. Meanwhile, in Arrowhead Stadium, Chiefs fans set a decibel record.
8. I SAID, "CHIEFS FANS SET A DECIBEL RECORD."
9. And in other news ... Texans' fans watch "Hoosiers," cheer for Terhune.
And last but not least ...
10. This just in: Tom Brady. Cyborg.