And now the latest installment of the God-when-will-it-be-over Blob feature, The NFL In So Many Words:
1. It's Tuesday now and Luke Kuechley is still holding onto Rob Gronkowski.
2. Come on now, Luke. Let him go. This isn't Dancing With The Stars.
3. In other news, Gronk couldn't have caught that thing with a fishing net anyway.
4. This week's wild unsubstantiated rumor: The Indianapolis Colts actually have an offensive set called Fiddling Around On Two.
5. Wind. Rain. Football players wallowing around in the mud. God saying, "I'm tired of 2013. Let's change the channel to 1959."
6. "Especially after that tag-you're-it 'roughing' on Drew Brees."
7. Speaking of which ... why, yes, Ray Lewis. The NFL does take American Express.
8. Now leading the NFC East: The 1926 Duluth Eskimos.
9. Nick Foles' quarterback rating is now 5,643. Oh, and last week he fixed Obamacare, toilet-trained Congress and convinced every warring faction in the Middle East to just settle the hell down already.
And last but not least ...
10. Seriously, dude. Let ... him ... go. You're making us all uncomfortable.