And now final installment (for this year) of the (by now) thoroughly reviled Blob feature, The NFL In So Many Words:
1. It's Monday evening and Randall Cobb, still undetected by the Bears defense, has reached Winnetka.
2. Update: He's now reached Rockford.
3. Where he's been joined by Chiefs' placekicker Ryan Succop, on the lam after missing a 41-yard field goal that would have beaten the Chargers in regulation.
4. Chargers' placekicker Nick Novak, meanwhile, is being carried through the streets of San Diego by fashion models after making a 36-yarder in overtime to put the Bolts in the playoffs.
5. Update: Randall Cobb is now at the Wisconsin-Illinois state line. Bears defense looking for him in vicinity of Gary, Indiana.
6. Overheard in Dallas today: "Why didn't Jason Garrett just kick the #$@!&% field goal?"
7. Also overheard in Dallas today: "This is all Romo's fault!"
8. Update: Randall Cobb just stopped for dinner in Milwaukee. Bears defense positive now they've located him in Merrillville.
9. The Cardinals (10-6) missed the playoffs. The Packers (8-7-1) did not miss the playoffs. Conclusion: God does not live in Arizona, as previously suspected. God lives in Green Bay, Wis., and is rather fond of dairy products, despite persistent rumors that He is lactose intolerant.
And last but not least ...
10. We're done here, Blobophiles.