You choose, we deliver
If you are interested in this story, you might be interested in others from The Journal Gazette. Go to www.journalgazette.net/newsletter and pick the subjects you care most about. We'll deliver your customized daily news report at 3 a.m. Fort Wayne time, right to your email.

Editorial columns

  • Film gives public education boosters a say
    Rocky Killion is the Clark Kent of public education – the superman many have waited for.
  • Harassment fuels race riots
    SWAT teams and angry protesters clashed in a small St. Louis suburb for a third day Tuesday, following the death of unarmed black teenager Michael Brown. The eruption of protests and violence has been a long time coming.
  • Overhaul needed in physician training
    Here’s a deal you might be interested in. You get $10 billion a year of taxpayers’ money to do something you may well have done anyway. You don’t need to say what you spend it on, or why.
Advertisement

LATE-NIGHT LAUGHS

David Letterman

“Governor Christie was asked, ‘Do you think this will hurt your chances of being president of the United States?’ And he said, ‘Hey, we’ll close that bridge when we come to it.’ ”

“It’s warming up a little bit here in the Northeast. The polar vortex has departed. It was supposed to leave Monday night, but it got stuck on the George Washington Bridge.”

Conan O’Brien

“A Japanese company bought the Jim Beam whiskey distillery for $16 billion. This morning the Japanese company woke up in an alley and said, ‘I did what?’ ”

“Justin Bieber could be facing felony charges after egging his neighbor’s home. In his defense, his neighbor was blasting Justin Bieber music.”

“Legal experts say if Justin Bieber is convicted of a felony, he could be deported back to Canada. They also say if he is found to have cocaine in his system, he could be elected mayor of Toronto.”

“In a new interview that just came out, first lady Michelle Obama said she might consider getting plastic surgery. The first lady said if Barack’s popularity keeps dropping, I do not want to be recognized.”

Jimmy Fallon

“People in New York are getting to know new Mayor Bill de Blasio. Last Friday he was spotted eating pizza with a knife and fork. New Yorkers are upset. His first scandal in office is eating pizza with a knife and fork. When he heard that, Chris Christie was like, ‘Hey, wanna trade scandals?’ ”

“There are reports that French President Francois Hollande had an affair with an actress who is 18 years younger than him. It’s pretty serious. Under French law, he could face up to 30 high fives.”

“This week Beyoncé wrote an essay online where she calls for women and men to get paid the same amount. When they heard that, men were like, ‘Sweet! We’d love to get paid as much as Beyoncé.’ ”

Advertisement