I know what the problem is. We're just no chanting "USA! USA!" loud enough.
First, Shaun White blows it in the half-pipe, falling down on one finals run and almost falling on the second to not only miss a third straight gold medal, but miss out on any medal at all.
Then, the U.S. women's hockey team coughs one up against its arch-rival, losing 3-2 to Canada when the Canadians score three goals in the third period.
Now, here's Shani Davis, the odds-on favorite to win the gold medal in his speedskating specialty, turning in a shockingly lackadaisical effort and finishing 8th in the 1,000.
Meanwhile, the Netherlands painted the speedskating podium orange. Norway has 12 total medals, almost twice as many as Our Team, and awesome curling pants. Bob Costas is out with pink eye -- and, on top of besting the U.S. in hockey, the Canadians have taken an overwhelming lead in the Best Olympic Moment competition.
That, and they get the spectacular part of Niagara Falls, too.
Life just ain't fair.