Listen, I know how you're feeling right now. I've been there.
I've been the guy sitting at the kitchen table with a No. 2 pencil in my hand, hunched over my NCAA bracket, all those empty spaces staring at me (and laughing: yes, that, too) like a thousand boogeymen. Who you gonna pick? they whisper. Them? Them? Oh, please, you can't be serious, not THEM.
Well. The Blob is here to help you with all that. Or at least make you feel better about picking, say, Eastern Kentucky over Kansas in the big 15-over-2 upset.
(Which could happen. OK, probably not. But maybe).
Here's the first thing you do: Pick all the No. 1s in the first round.
(I know, I know. That's obvious. But half the battle here is just getting started).
Now pick Mercer to beat Duke.
(I know, that's probably not gonna happen, either. But you hate Duke, so it'll make you feel better).
Now pick which No. 1 you think will lose first.
(I hate to say this, but it's probably Wichita State. Or Arizona. Arizona probably gets Oklahoma State, ridiculously underseeded at 9, in the second round, and then a really nasty San Diego State team in the Sweet Sixteen. Wichita State, on the other hand, gets the Clippers in the second round, the Spurs in the Sweet Sixteen and the Thunder in the Elite Eight. Or so it seems).
Now, then. Make your 12-over-5 upset.
(I'd go with North Dakota State over Oklahoma. Or Stephen F. Austin, winners of 27 straight, over VCU. And Harvard looks good against Cincinnati, too. Oh, heck, just pick all the 12 seeds).
Now throw everyone else in a big hat and just start pulling out names. It's that kind of year. So you could pull out a Final Four of Baylor, Kentucky, Villanova and Syracuse (or Syracuse, Iowa State, Creighton and Duke) and it's not going to look any dumber than anyone else's.
(Unless you pick Wofford to win it all. Then you really would look dumb. Plus, I've got Wofford. And I'm not sharing my winnings with you.)