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Editorial columns

  • Domestic violence a worldwide scourge
    Many of us have found ourselves shocked at the sight of Super Bowl champion Ray Rice punching his then fiancée, now wife, so hard in the face that she was rendered unconscious.
  • Putin moving to quash painful Soviet episodes
    The old trunk weighed more than 81 pounds. It was crammed with handwritten letters sent between 1946 and 1954 that were held together with string and rubber bands.
  • With Ebola, risks trump rights
    The threat of Ebola tinges our future. A suspected second case of Ebola has scared the Dallas area, another patient with Ebola recently arrived in Nebraska and a nurse in Spain has contracted the disease.
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LATE-NIGHT LAUGHS

Jimmy Fallon

“Thursday is the deadline for Iran to meet a series of measures to delay its nuclear program. Then Iran said, ‘Do you mean “deadline deadline” or “Sign up for Obamacare deadline?” ’ ”

“With their loss to the Braves yesterday, the Chicago Cubs became the third team in baseball history to lose 10,000 games. The poor Cubs. They can’t even win a losing contest.”

“A day after Donald Sterling’s explosive interview with CNN, Anderson Cooper sat down with Magic Johnson for a follow-up interview. And Magic actually said he’s praying for Sterling. Yeah, he’s praying for him to get stuck in an elevator with Beyoncé’s sister.”

Conan O’Brien

“The first openly gay player has been drafted by the NFL.

“If you saw it on ESPN, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic. This is the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams.”

“Dr. Dre may become the world’s first hip-hop billionaire. So maybe my mom was right. I should have become a doctor.”

David Letterman

“Donald Sterling did an interview with Anderson Cooper of CNN. The interview was conducted at Sterling’s sprawling Triple-K ranch.”

“Some studies conclude that eating dark chocolate and drinking red wine will prolong your life. Well, it turns out that’s not true. The new study was conducted by the New Haven Institute of Buzz Kill.”

“Justin Bieber is accused of stealing a cellphone from a fan. The police now say that he is at large. He’s armed and Bieberous.”

Seth Meyers

“During his visit to the White House, the president of Uruguay lectured President Obama about the dangers of smoking.

“Then, when Obama said ‘Oh, I quit,’ Hillary Clinton ran past him into the Oval Office.”

“New research suggests that people who are more ambitious will live longer.

“While people who are less ambitious will live longer with their parents.”

“Last night, Magic Johnson told Anderson Cooper that he’s still waiting for an apology from Clippers owner Donald Sterling. Sterling responded, saying, ‘I’m very sorry you’re black.’ ”

Craig Ferguson

“It’s a great day for Transylvania. The 14th-century Transylvania castle that inspired the book ‘Dracula’ is for sale.

“Personally, if I wanted a house that belonged to a creepy undead guy, I’d buy the Playboy mansion.”

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