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The Journal Gazette

  • Illustration by Gregg Bender | The Journal Gazette

Saturday, December 23, 2017 1:00 am

Fa la la la la, Fort Wayne

Cherished Christmas classics - with a contemporary cast

“The North River Deal Carol”

(To the tune of “It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Everywhere you go;

There's a deal for a chain hotel, one off of Main as well,

And taking on a toxic field's a go!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;

Yes, the deal was smart,

But the thing that made it sting was the clear and loud ka-ching!

On the owners' part!

“The IURC Carol”

(To the tune of “We Three Kings”)

We two utilities of NEI are

Bearing hikes in rates near and far.

As they mount on,

You should count on

More bills and less dinar.

 

O, NIPSCO gas and I&M light

Keep our homes' fires burning bright

Hope the state review proceedings

Ease the increases' bite.

“The Pay-to-Sleigh Song”

(To the tune of “Santa Claus is Comin' to Town”)

They're making a list and checking it twice

Gonna find out who's naughty and nice

Crawford and Arp are comin' to town.

They see you when you're campaignin'

They know each buck you take.

They know if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake.

“Addison's Song”

(To the tune of “Angels We Have Heard on High”)

Addison, we have heard on high

Sweetly singing o'er the air.

And the viewers in reply

Chose you in the final pair!

“The Mayor's Carol”

(To the tune of “The Christmas Song,” also known as “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”)

A project falling on the funeral pyre,

Costs much higher than proposed. 

Most folks thought that the outlook was dire.

But there's plenty more to not oppose.

 

They know the riverfront is on its way

It's bringing lots of jobs and fun and higher pay

And though that one idea was not OK

Downtown development will bring a brighter day

 

And so, I'm offering this simple phrase

for voters 18 to 93

Although it's been said, many times, many ways

No arena, no arena, no arena for me!